taking the plunge

no, not that plunge. we're already married, remember?





and no, not that other one either. we. are. NOT. PREGNANT.





ok. so can i tell you WHICH plunge i'm referring to?





SELF-EMPLOYMENT. yikes!!





it's becoming glaringly clear that for whatever reason, i'm just not destined to get a real job. anytime soon. at least that's how it feels.





case in point: last weeks' job interview. for an advertising company. sounded pretty good on the careerbuilder.com website. so i applied figuring i wouldn't even rate a phone call since i have zero sales experience. not only did i get a call, i got an interview. okay. so i went. and about 1/3 of the way through the "pre-interview" (yes, she basically called it that), i realized that this was one of those 100% commission gigs. um, no thanks. i fully understand that my unemployment will not last forever. and that we both need to find a job, any job so that we will be able to pay our bills. but a job where they DON'T PAY YOU? um, no. because as far as i'm concerned? a 100% commission job is a job that doesn't pay you. with a 14 month old? that's not really an option. so i deliberately gave a bad answer to ensure that i wouldn't get called in for a 2nd interview. mission accomplished!





that leads me back to the SELF-EMPLOYMENT thing. back in august we went to the fair. at the fair was a book booth with a "ask me how to earn income from home" banner. so i asked. and was intrigued. and looked into it some more. and by the end of the weekend, had decided to sign up as an independent consultant. i've done a home show (with a few in the works) and worked a fair & some other "booth" events. i'm set to work a book fair with my sponsor & finally earn my first bit of commission. yes. commission. see, this is also a commission only type job. but? these books sell themselves, so i have no fear about it. and? i don't have to leave this everyday.

because really. who would WANT to leave THAT FACE everyday for 10+ hours? sure as HELL not me!

so i've been doing the book thing since the end of august. and have made sales of roughly $1000. cool. but i'm not quite as busy as i'd hoped. and since i figured that i should probably take the bull by the horns, i'm also signing up tomorrow to be an independent consultant for pampered chef. i figure that between the two i should be able to bring a decent amount of money in. maybe not enough to replace a full time income for me, but then i'd only need to get a part time job to supplement my SELF-EMPLOYMENT! those words still scare the crap outta me!

anyhow, that's where i am at this point. trying to take control of my own destiny and make some good things happen for my family. i figure if i'm going to "sell" something, then it might as well be something i love & something that my family can use. because let's face it. who doesn't LOVE books & pampered chef??

benefit 4,928,761,350 of being unemployed & living with your folks

it's really handy when you do something tremendously stupid to not have to worry about mundane stuff. like work. or carrying your child around. or how to feed yourself when your room is on the first floor but the kitchen is on the the second.

thursday night i was cold. i've been cold at bedtime for the last week or so, primarily because our bed is located directly below the only window in our room. that means that even though the window is completely closed, when it's say 20 degrees outside (which it has been at night for the last week or so) that even if you have the heat on in the room, there's still a cold spot right where you put your head down when it's time for bed. i don't know about you, but if ANY part of me is too hot or too cold when it's time for bed? i can't sleep.

so i decided i was going to get the nice, fluffy, warm uw huskies blanket that i got for christmas two years back down from out of the closet to put over the comforter on the bed. vrock is a furnace so i'm not allowed to have an electric blanket on the bed. that means that if i'm cold, i have to pile blankets onto my side of the bed. fine. i can do that. i pulled the office chair over to the closet, braced it against the dresser, and climbed up. there was a little wobble, but no big deal. i've done this a million times. up, grab the item in question, and down with no problems. not so much this time.

when my parents built the garage (where the 5 of us are currently living) they put an apartment over the garage and a bedroom with a bathroom downstairs. they also made 9 foot ceilings, so you HAVE to climb onto something to get anything out of the closet downstairs. ideally that something would be, i don't know, a STEP LADDER, but i digress. the basket that the blanket was in is VERY light. 2 blankets, a pair of slippers, a pair of gloves, and i think a scarf is all that is in the basket. so i knew that it would be no biggie to grab the blanket.

EXCEPT.

i didn't know that vrock had also put an armband for his ipod in the basket. this wouldn't be a big deal except that he just kind of tossed it into the basket, meaning that it landed on top of the blanket. again, not really a big deal. except. when i pulled the basket down towards me to grab the blanket out, the ipod thing fell out. and startled the shit out of me. which caused me to lose my balance and fall.

luckily i didn't bang my head on the crib or the bookshelf that is right next to it. unluckily, i heard a distinct SNAP as i landed on my foot. i was sure that once we went to the er and got x-rays that there would be a break somewhere. luckily i was wrong and it's just very badly sprained. but man. it HURTS! i spent all of friday, saturday, and most of sunday in bed with my foot propped up and icing it off and on. and today it's STILL all kinds of lovely shades of purple and yellow.

the er doc didn't give me enough pain meds to last me to my follow up tomorrow with my regular doc, so i'm raiding dad's pain meds from his surgery last month. (only after checking with the pharmacist that they're safe to take while breastfeeding.) they make me sleepy though, which is great for at night but not so much for during the day. today i finally ventured upstairs, but had to have my mom bring the baby up since i don't trust my balance enough to carry him yet.

what a great way to spend a weekend, huh? on the plus side......it's not broken. and? vrock has been pretty awesome through the whole ordeal. after 4 days of being an invalid though, i'm ready for it to heal and to be able to walk on it without pain. we'll see what the doc says tomorrow about the timeline for that.

i know this though........i'll never use a chair to get something out of the closet again!

not dead.......yet

just zombified. you know, because of this......

and of course, munching on these...........

and while i miss my sleep, desperately, i've never been happier.

seriously????

i know, i know. i haven't written about the trip yet. i will, promise.

i just need to vent about this first.

when we first got pregnant, i was worried about the normal things: my age (37) being an issue, genetic abnormalities, miscarriage, etc. things that just about every woman is concerned about until she knows that there's nothing to be concerned about.

so we opted to do some genetic testing (first trimester testing & completely non-invasive) to "guide" us in the right direction. fortunately for us, the tests came back with no worries of any abnormalities and we were able to end that particular journey there.

that was in early february. while we were on vacation, i received a call from the billing department of that particular hospital. (not the one i'm delivering at, as that one is too small to have a maternal-fetal medicine clinic that does the genetic testing.) the guy proceeded to say that i had an outstanding bill ($30) after insurance had paid and wanted to know when i would be paying it. i'm in hawaii, and have no recollection of seeing a bill for that amount, so i told him that i was on vacation, if the bill had come prior to leaving i'd have paid it and since i'll be gone for 10 days, i'll have to look into it when i get home. fine he says and i figure that will be the end of it.

so we get home. i get the mail and sort it out. bills in one pile, etc. at this point, (about 2 weeks ago) i'm still not receiving my unemployment yet. vrock is working (huzzah!) but it's only part time. so while we do have some money floating around, there's not a lot that's leftover for extra bills. i put the bills on the desk in their spot and turn to other things.

i get a phone call a few days later from this guy again. telling me again that i still owe $30. now, i'm 27+ weeks at this point and my memory has become more faulty than i'd like to admit (HELLO list writing!), so i inform him that i have NOT received this bill and that i don't care that his system tells me they mailed it, i don't have it and therefore it will be hard for me to pay it. he says they'll send it again. fine. (of course, a day or so later as i'm preparing to pay bills i find it. but it's for $45.08 and NOT $30, so it's not completely my fault.)

meanwhile, vrock's job has become FULL TIME & BENEFITTED (woo hoo!!) and now i can pay the bills knowing that there will be more money coming in. great! so last week i write a check for this particular account and a few other non-monthly bills (we're STILL paying medical bills from his sinus surgery in oct) so that i can mail them in. i check our bank account online about every other day, so i'm glad to see that the check for this particular account has cleared. YAY! no more phone calls from this guy. right? WRONG!!!

this morning i'm sleeping in. (with vrock working full time now, the alarm goes off at about 6:45 and he gets up about 7:20. this wouldn't be an issue, except that 1) the alarm is on MY side of the bed, which means i'm the one hitting snooze and then rolling over to make sure he's awake, 2) i've done this every morning this week because i'm afraid if i don't sort of wake up with him that he'll fall back asleep and be late for work, and 3) last night/this morning i stayed up until 4:30am finishing a book because i'd had a 2 hour nap yesterday.) my phone is almost always on vibrate overnight, but because i'd grabbed it and put it by the bed this morning when vrock left for work, i hear it buzzing.

normally, i don't answer if there's no number listed. this one pops up as "private call". now, i know it's not my mom, because she left earlier and her cell number shows up on my phone. the only other "private call" that i know of for sure is my almost 38-weeks pregnant friend who lives about 8 minutes away. i'm her emergency ride to the hospital and since yesterday she was dilated to 1cm, it could be her. so i answer. it's the guy about the bill. he starts his spiel and i'm already PISSED because i KNOW that the check has cleared. i'm civil, barely, as he spits out the info about the visit date and the amount owed. and then i inform him that not only did i ONLY get the one statement (when they were supposed to send me a 2nd since i didn't recall getting a first) but that i've PAID it and IT'S CLEARED THE BANK! (there are few things that irritate me more than someone who doesn't have all the facts getting ready to "tell me off".) he then asks me to FAX him proof of payment.

um FUCKING HELLO??? just how am i supposed to do that? 1) i paid by check you asshole. i'll be DAMNED if i'm going to go to the bank and ask for a copy of the cancelled check because you can't be bothered to CHECK YOUR FUCKING SYSTEM to see if the payment has applied. (the check CLEARED on 5/22. i know monday was a holiday and all but seriously? it should be in your system by now!) 2) i don't have ready access to a fax machine and all i'd have to fax you is a copy of the statement. so i'm PISSED now. i explain to him that it's paid, cleared the bank, etc. he can tell i'm pissed because he then says "i'll just note your account paid then."

good idea asshole. of course, now i'm awake, so that annoys me even more. oh well.

i suppose i wouldn't be so mad about it if i wasn't already irritated from yesterday when the cop pulled me over.

more on that later.

and when i say atlanta, i mean the braves

so the other day i posted about how ANNOYED i was with atlanta for prohibiting the seattle fans from getting their nostalgia fix by stealing ken griffey jr from us, the fans who were there for the first 11 years of his baseball life.

well. it seems that i may have to take a step back from dressing them down.

see, on tuesday, an atlanta paper published a story that jr had decided to sign with atlanta. which of course started a flurry of "atlanta sucks" comments & feelings from the seattle fans. and i was on that band wagon. (technically i still AM on that band wagon.) i'm not a national league girl. never have been. and i'm a true blue mariner fan & hometown fan kind of girl. (or homer, whichever you prefer.) about an hour or so after THAT story surfaced, was a denial by jr that he had chosen, yet.

so, there was still hope alive in the hearts of all jr fans that our beloved "kid" might, just MIGHT come home to be celebrated as he deserves.

this is a new position for most mariner fans. i can't recall another mariner who has gone to play with another team that would be welcomed home with such open arms & excitement. maybe jamie moyer, who now plays with philly. but that's about it. our greats have retired. edgar martinez, jay buhner. yes, we had randy johnson & alex rodriguez but i honestly don't think that mariner fans would want EITHER of them back, EVER. jr is the exception to that rule.

why? because he helped not only save baseball in seattle (1995 refuse to lose season anyone?) but he also helped to get our beautiful safeco field built. and he was a perennial all star for 10 of his 11 years here. and he's ALWAYS been a fan favorite. when he left the town was crushed. when he came back in 2007 he got a heroes welcome, even though he wore the opponents uniform. standing ovations. declarations of love from the fans. from the management.

and a declaration from jr himself that he wanted to return to seattle to finish his career. to retire a mariner. to go into the hall of fame as a mariner.

and atlanta swooped in at the last minute to try to turn that dream into a nightmare. and for that i'll never forgive them. luckily they didn't succeed and jr WILL return to the town that loves him. who is excited about baseball for the first time in a few years. yes, he's not the player he was in his prime. but he's a mariner. a family member that we've missed for the last 9 years. and i couldn't be happier.

but the braves? they can still suck it.

i have no words

ok, that's so not true.

i have MANY words. most of them heated/angry/incredulous, in fact.

i read a story this morning about the "octuplet mom" in california. you know the one. the one who already had SIX (count them, SIX) children UNDER THE AGE OF SEVEN when she got pregnant. the one who is an unmarried, "full time student" that expects (at least from what i've read) her parents to shoulder the burden. the one who DESPITE the 6 kids, unmarried status, non job working PROCEEDED to not only use fertility drugs (yes, i'm assuming that fertility drugs were used because 8 babies does not happen naturally unless you're a cat!), but chose not to selectively reduce when it was discovered that there were SEVEN fetuses. (the 8th wasn't found until she was in the delivery room.) and the one who EXPECTS someone to PAY her TWO MILLION dollars to share her "story" and "parenting expertise".

these are the first words i had when reading that little tidbit:

WHAT

THE

FUCK??

now, i'm all for people having babies. i completely understand the draw & desire to have children. and i understand that for some, fertility drugs are the ONLY way that the dream of children can become a reality.

BUT.

for a woman who ALREADY has six kids? fertility drugs/egg stimulation/etc should NOT have been an option. AT ALL. i could ALMOST understand it if she had ONE prior child, maybe two and had turned to fertility treatments to conceive THOSE kids due to problems in previous pregnancies. (a la John & Kate Gosselin who'd had twins, wanted one more & ended up with 6 more.) not only do i believe that the doctors who assisted her in this folly should come up before some type of review board, i think that the state/federal governments should REFUSE to assist this woman with any type of money. (i know that sounds harsh, as the babies themselves did NOTHING wrong and shouldn't be punished for the stupidity of their mother. but still.)

i'm just floored at the things that continue to come out about this story. such as the woman's parents have hinted that their daughter may have some sort of mental illness. um, HELLO?!?!?!? did NO ONE think that after 6 kids MAYBE she should have been "fixed"??

nothing about this "spectacle" is easy or in black & white. there are 14 fatherless kids to think about. 8 of whom are still in the hospital fighting to get off of machines. the children are not at fault. i have MANY ideas as to what should happen to the mother in all of this. none of those ideas have a good outcome for the children however. it just makes me immensely sad that in today's world where there are so many people who struggle to have one baby, there are women like this that feel no compunction at all to have children that they are ill prepared to care for.

and the worse part? it's sounding more & more like this woman PURPOSEFULLY got pregnant with these babies to capitalize on the publics fascination with multiples. unless i'm TOTALLY misreading the stories, she PLANNED to sell her story and wanted to try to get a reality show/sponsors/etc.

i understand wanting the american dream. but at the expense of your own children? shame on you lady.

kitty time out

so the big move is today. and i'm at work. granted, it's not like i would've been a huge help anyway since i can't really lift too much without everyone looking at me like i've grown a second head. talk about overprotective! it's all good though.

in preparation for today, we've been taking stuff over to my folks' house including the fish & the cats.

when we moved into this apartment last year, it was the first time that the cats had "moved". (other than when i brought them home from my friends house, they'd pretty much never been outside the house except for vet/groomer visits.) bob does NOT like being in the cat carrier. he cries and it's so pitiful that it breaks my heart every time. i don't remember gabby being as pitiful last time as she was last night.

see, i KNOW that they hate the cat carriers. i KNOW that they'll most likely cry the WHOLE time that they're in them. i had FORGOTTEN, however, about what they did the last time we moved.

in short, they put themselves in kitty time out. the apartment has a bathroom with two doors. one into the hall and the other into the extra bedroom. so that was the natural place to release the cats when we moved in, as they wouldn't be in the way or try to run out the open door. what i didn't count on was that BOTH of them would immediately put themselves face first into the nearest corner they could find. it was at once heartbreakingly pathetic and funny at the same time. after a few days they got used to the new place and things were fine.

last night though? OMG! we got bob into the carrier no problem (which was a surprise in itself.) and made plans to corral gabby. here's where i need to give a little backstory. when gabby was maybe 1 or 2 she was severely traumatized. like any cat, she was curious about a plastic bag from target that was sitting on the floor. so she stuck her head through the handle to peek inside the bag. well, the bag was empty and she heard a noise or something and tried to back quickly out of the bag. bad idea. it got stuck around her neck, which would have been ok, but since she was spooked she took off and the bag looked more like a cape. the noise scared her even more and she ran into the garage and hid for hours. finally my dad was able to coax her out (she was originally his cat) and remove the bag but ever since then she's been a little weird. hides all the time, etc. except with me. she always wants to be with me.

so, when we moved, it was a great surprise to find that over time, she became less "freaky". she still doesn't like strangers too much, but she started coming to vrock the last few months, eating treats and even climbing up onto his lap for attention. then we had to move her last night and i have to wonder how far back she'll regress.

after trapping her in the bedroom last night so we could get her into the carrier, we took them over to the parents house. we let them both out upstairs and stood back. presumably she rocketed out of her carrier and straight down the stairs towards my old room. i'd left the door not quite closed and she darted in. and found the furthest corner of the room she could and put herself in time out. i talked to my mom this morning to see if she'd come upstairs at ALL last night and found out she hadn't. not a huge surprise. bob, on the other hand, cried for a bit after letting him out and then was fine. he's much more a people cat than she is.

i hope that she recovers soon. it'll get worse before it gets better though. vrock & the movers will be there in a few hours unloading the "non storage" items and she really won't have anywhere to run to then. poor baby.

think she'll forgive us?

bean spillage

so for the limited numbers of you that actually read this, this may or may not be news.......

we're knocked up.

due date is roughly 8/11, which is my grandfather's birthday, so that would be kinda cool. we're very excited and of course, a little scared. we plan to find out the sex only because i think the suspense would kill me to not know. lol

so we have a lot going on these days. gearing up for our move this weekend, preparing for a baby, etc.

life is good.

news

so i got a bit of good news today.

my boss requested & received permission (is that the right word?) to keep me on for another 90 days.

so that means that not only do i not have to pack up my office next week, i also won't have to pay cobra for at least 3 more months.

happy days!! (at least the next 90) :)

you've GOT to be fucking kidding me!

so i'm sitting here with vrock watching tv. (well, he's sort of watching it and i'm just listening since i'm still glued to my new laptop.)

and i hear: "shop rite refuses to decorate a three year old's birthday cake..."

wtf?

so i disengage myself from the computer screen long enough to watch the story.

the REASON they won't decorate the cake? the kid's name is ADOLF HITLER. his stupid stupid white supremecist parents named him that. and they WONDER why the store has an issue decorating the cake with that name?

SERIOUSLY? i mean i know that celebrities want to name their kids "unique" (and often downright stupid names like apple, zuma, etc.) but ADOLF HITLER? you have GOT to be shitting me! then vrock tells me the ultimate capper.......

they named this poor childs siblings with middle names of "aryan nation" and "heinrich himmler".

seriously. some people should be sterilized at birth.

here we go again

so it appears that i may be unemployed again. and soon.

my boss called me yesterday to let me know that they are going to be eliminating 2 positions and restructuring mine, in order to absorb the duties of the 2 being eliminated.

which? could be a GREAT thing for me.

or it could be a totally sucky thing for me.

see, the other 2 people, both are interested in the position that will be remaining. MY position. they've both been here longer than me, although one is only by a few months.

because we all already work for the company, there is some sort of internal hr thing that we have to do instead of a traditional interview process. my boss doesn't know what that is yet, but we're hoping to know BOTH what it is and what the outcome is by next friday if not sooner.

because, if i DO end up having to leave? (and, let's face it, it's a 66% chance) then i have to give notice at the apartment because we won't be able to afford to stay there.

which would suck. big time.

so NOT the way to get me to do something

have you ever had one of those "friends"? maybe someone you knew casually or someone that you worked with but didn't socialize with outside of work?

i have one of those. someone that i USED to work with. someone who i was friendly enough with while we were working together, but not someone i'd consider a "friend" friend, if you know what i mean. i've never seen her outside of the work environment. we don't talk on the phone. we don't meet for lunch. she's an acquaintance. i don't dislike her by any means. we just don't hang out.

she's moving to las vegas next month. she had twins about a year - year and a half ago, on her own. she gets season tickets to the seattle mariners every year and usually when i hear from her it's as part of a mass mailing trying to sell tickets that she can't use.

so i got an email from her (not just to me, mind you) stating that she needed some help with her garage sale this weekend and with another one she has planned for 10/11 - 10/12 for anything she doesn't want to take that's left over after she packs up the moving van. i'm still unpacking from our move and my weekends have become my refuge. MY time. yes, it's time i share with vrock. he IS my husband after all. (and with him starting his new job this week, i've barely seen him as he's going in as i'm getting home and i go to bed right after he gets home.) i very occassionally will do something with a friend on the weekend. this saturday vrock will be going over to his brother's to watch the texas football game & then coming home sometime on sunday (i think before the cowboy game). which means i essentially have saturday to myself.

in theory i could go and help out at the garage sale. and i MIGHT have done just that. (another gal that we worked with, who i ADORE and who actually traveled down to vegas from seattle for my wedding, is going to go help out and i haven't seen her since june.)

except for this: "So, I beg…If you are my friend, can you please help on one of these days?"

if you are my friend? what?!?! i barely know this woman. it's not like we became real friends from working together and hang out all the time. or EVER! it just really rubbed me the wrong way. could i go and help her out? yeah, i probably could, even though i've been making a concerted effort to not drive around too much. (my car was doing some weird things a little while back and while it hasn't happened in about 1000 miles, i don't like to drive it very far.) one, gas is still expensive. two, she lives about 25 miles away. that roundtrip would take at least 1/4 tank of gas. three, even though vrock is working it's not a lot of money per hour and he won't get paid until next week for this week so money is really tight right now.

and of course, there's always the fourth reason: i don't like to be "guilted" into doing something. it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. and seriously. the only people who i let get away with that are my mother, vrock (although he wisely doesn't try it often) and a few choice friends. real friends.

you know, the kind you'd go to jail for.

seriously?!?!?!?!?

beware. rant ahead!

ok. i know that people magazine is an "entertainment" rag. i know that the majority of the stories they cover relate in some way, shape or form to the celebrity industry.

but.

a COVER story of clay aiken outing himself??

not only is it NOT news that he prefers men but there is ABSOLUTELY no reason for it to be the COVER story. i suppose "technically" it's a story because he's never admitted it before. fine. then have a little blurb in the magazine with the details. fine.

but a cover? seriously?

i guess there was absolutely NO other newsworthy stories out of hollyweird last week.

*i could care less if he's gay/straight/crooked/green/purple/whatever. i believe that whatever preference someone has is their own business & it's not for me to judge. i'm just incredulous that not only was this deemed a "big" story but that it was deemed important enough to put on the cover. aren't there other more important things going on in the world right now???